in recovery they say that knowing that you made a mistake is one step ahead of making a mistake and NOT knowing. the next step is knowing you are making a mistake even though you do it anyway. the good part comes when you stop yourself before the mistake happens.

Gift Of Desparation

it was just text spam!  i was so worried about the down that i was willing to give up the possibility of an up. neutral can be good sometimes.  i guess that means just don't get on the roller coaster.

i just received a text.  i am wondering if i will feel differently after i read it.  probably.

I'm just wondering, if Ted makes it to the Pearly Gates, will he be able to look Mary Jo in the eye?  Will her family finally talk?  I mean did their financial agreement reach beyond the grave?  Surely they wrote something down.  After 40 years certainly some sibling or cousin will come forward and say they "accidentally " found the agreement. Or is it like the Sopranos.

la fille est ici

i like it best when you are here. we're sort of like peas and carrots.

just when you think your day cannot get much worse and you might as well just go to bed because nothing is salvageable, your best guy cooks a steak and cuts it into bite size pieces for you.  he picks up the little fondue pieces and dips them into melted cheese and holds them near your mouth.  there is no way not to have an important conversation when he is feeding you like a little bird.  if it isn't important a first, it becomes so.  and it did.

twitter me this, twitter me that.  who's afraid of the big black bat?

   

 finally stopped crying long enough to reach out to someone in my 12 step program.   what better bonding material than pain.

today i will enjoy some of my gifts.

My book shall be titled, "I Love You.  You Drive Me Crazy".

Let's see.  My core feelings today are: pain, joy, and  hope.  Oh, and I almost forgot, fear. 

fear=anxiety

friends of bill w:  meet at terminal C starbucks.

Dear God,
Please grant me the serenity to accept the thing I cannot change, which is you, the courage to change the thing I can, which is me, and the wisdom to know the difference, which is hard.

how empty of me to be so full of you

even now, as i cry, i cannot walk away. 

I will pray.

you gotta dance with who brung you

anxiety runs high but you can keep it together

i've been on computer in my sleep again.